Pain marks the spot.

continued...

So, once I'm registered at the Surgery Center it was no time and the nurse called me back to the pre-op area. She went over several health related questions and then escorted me to the changing area. "Off with everything and put on these fashionable knee high anti-embolism socks"... Once I'm changed, I go back to the curtained area I was at and the nurse tells me she needs to go ahead and start an IV. "Best wishes" I think to myself... I've had zero fluids and food and you think it's gonna be easy to stick me?? Well, as she learned after a good 30 minutes it wasn't! Dr. V peeked in on me and we discussed the surgery. He was looking for a surgical marker to mark my skin but I told him "X" marks the spot on my breast. His thoughts "interesting"... I believe he was somewhat surprised that 2 lymph nodes in my breast lit up. He then proceeded to say that he would most likely need to make 3 incisions because the axillary area is the main area for the lymph nodes - my breast nodes are satellites.... He apologized stating he will try his best not to disfigure my breast. He said my surgery would last roughly 2 hours and that he would keep Philip updated. Off he went to view the results from the Lymphoscintigram, finally the nurse gets my IV going and brings back Philip to sit with me while I wait on the Anesthesiologist (Dr. K). No sooner than Philip takes a seat, Dr. K walks in introduces himself and asks questions regarding my health and quickly goes on his way. Philip tries to break the sadness I feel by commenting on my sexy knee high socks... it works... for a minute. Then its time to roll...

 This is the tiny scar left from the first excision of the mole.

Dr. K comes back to escort me to the OR. I walk beside him, blankets draped over my body, I can feel the coldness of the floor against my feet. I feel my body shake with fear - a 1 minute walk that seemed like forever. There we stand in a COLD, very clean and very blue room, music is blasting (my surgeon has great taste in music) I look over at the table where I will lay my tired, frightened body - I remember asking myself "is this really happening"... yep, it is, Dr. K then helps remove the 2 blankets I'm so tightly snuggled in, then he asks me to drop my gown and lay on the table. Really??? I'm naked with knee high anti-embolism socks on under this gown... I have to drop the gown?! He kindly helps untie the back and I drop it as I climb on the table. I was shivering cold so he turned the thermostat down and gave me a blanket. I placed my arms out to the side on the arm rests and Dr. K then said he was going to give me a sedative because he can only imagine the fear I must have. Yep, I was beyond scared at that point. Once the sedative was administered into my IV it didn't take long at all - I was asleep.
I woke up in a different room with a nurse talking but I couldn't make out what she was saying at first. I was crying in pain - my underarm felt as if someone tried to fit the Goodyear Blimp into it! She immediately helped get my panties and sweat pants on then administered pain meds in my IV. I cried and cried I hurt so bad! She administered pain meds 4 times before bringing back Philip. She then said she would try to catch Dr. V to ask about the pain and numbness in my arm. Philip tells me my lymph nodes were clean - the cancer has not spread. He also tells me he didn't have to make an incision into my breast, just the axillary area for lymph node biopsies. I'm so relieved to hear the cancer has not spread and my boob was still my same ol worn out empty sock boob! I cried more and more... My nurse brought me an oral pain med and another IV pain med. I was finally feeling some relief. She went over several post op instructions but I couldn't even begin to tell you what she said because at that point I was floating on pain meds. Philip helped get my upper body dressed and helped me out to his truck. Try getting into a Hummer with your stomach split open and your armpit... no fun! But we managed and I drifted off to sleep for the ride home.
I'm now 4 days post op and I can say I feel worse than I did day 1 post op. The soreness and pain is indescribable. When I sit upright or get up to walk it feels like my abdomen incision is tearing apart. Sleeping is horrible! The first 2 nights I slept on my back (I am not a back sleeper) now I'm able to maneuver a pillow under my stomach while I'm on my side to sleep and rest another pillow under my arm. Still not ideal sleeping but it helps. I find myself sleeping 12 + hours per day. My bones ache, I'm urinating smurf blue and I'm so constipated a nuclear bomb set off in my colon wouldn't help! I'm taking pain meds (1 tablet) every 2 hours instead of 2 tablets every 4. My stomach can't tolerate 2 pain pills at once. Post -op day 1 I had a severe rosacea flare up, it was so bad my lips were even burning! Luckily I caught Dr. E out in the swamp and he was able to call me in some meds. Bottom line, there has been absolutely nothing fun and joyful about this experience. Lately my emotions have been all over the place. I feel so bad for Philip because not only is he waiting on Menza now he's taking care of me. I can tell he is so frustrated at times and probably thinking to himself - he didn't sign up for this shit... I'm so thankful I have him here because I haven't seen not one family member! My oldest son was over last night but as of this second he is at the hospital preparing to earn his new title "Daddy". My daughter is in college and I know she can't skip out to come help us - I would never ask that of her. I am grateful to all the friends that have called, texted, inboxed or sent messages. For the ones that didn't - all I can say is Karma!...

 

This is the much larger re-excision site post-op

This is the axillary incision post-op

Philip snapped the above pics while I was in recovery

Day 1 Post-OP Ouchy IV Site

Day 1 Post-Op Lovely Rosacea Flare-up

XOXO - Melanoma Diva